Week 4: It's times like this...

Week four is in the books and we are starting to see a return to form for many of the teams in the IHHL. The Boston Benders toyed with the Milwaukee Monarchs this week before finally bending the Monarchs to their will. The Las Vegas Balla’s continued their winning ways with a slam dunk win over the Saskatoon Sasquatches. The Denver Demon Donkeys managed to kick the Cleveland Blackjacks to the curb, extending their winning streak to two this season. 

Harpswell Mayors vs Washington Winter Warriors

The Harpswell Mayors were crushed at home this week by the Washington Winter Warriors. Coach H. Mac Cannon continued to roll all of his top lines in the match up in his bid to retain top seat in the league. The near 100 point blowout is the largest margin yet in this young season. Final Score: Mayors - 115.5 (2-2-0) to Warriors 212.3 (4-0-0).

Cleveland Blackjacks vs Denver Demon Donkeys

The Cleveland Blackjacks hosted the Denver Demon Donkeys this week; both teams looking to build off of their wins last week. The Blackjacks leveraged the home ice advantage early on in the week to build a small lead. It was superior play over the weekend by the Donkeys’ top line of T. Johnson (C, RW), M. St. Louis (C, RW), and J. Spezza (C) that ultimately won the day. Final Score: Blackjacks - 148.65 (1-3-0) to Donkeys - 160.25 (2-2-0). 

San Jose Soviet Bears vs Seattle Wolves

With the San Jose Soviet Bears reeling from two consecutive losses, the Seattle Wolves were primed for a win last week. Despite stellar play by J. Toews (C), the Wolves never seemed to click as a team and appeared to sleepwalk through much of the match up. The Bears took full advantage of miscues and slow line changes to post their second win of the season and move into second place in the Conway Conference. Final Score: Bears - 145.1 (2-2-0) to Wolves 108.4 (1-3-0). 

Saskatoon Sasquatches vs Las Vegas Balla’s

The Saskatoon Sasquatches, still looking for their first win of the season, hosted surprise powerhouse Las Vegas Balla’s last week. The Balla’s were bereft a coach last week as Owner and Coach Dan Hall traveled to Thailand to energize the team’s Southeast Asia base. Coaching the team by phone, Dan Hall was able to lead the team its third consecutive win of the season. Final Score: Sasquatches - 118.9 (0-4-0) to Balla’s 143.5 (3-1-0).

Milwaukee Monarchs vs Boston Benders

With the Monarchs looking to build on their first place lead in the Conway Conference, the Boston Benders came to town like a wrecking ball. Despite keeping the game close early in the week, the Monarchs became unraveled as calls against the team mounted. After the fifth consecutive penalty was called on the Monarchs Wednesday night, Coach Derek Heilman was overheard saying  “ It's at a time like this, when I think all we can do is turn our eyes up to the heavens and say...Oh shit.” Final Score: Monarchs - 136.25 (2-2-0) to Benders - 183.8 (3-1-0). 

Your Outtake of the Week: 

In a rare loss of control, Monarch’s Coach, Derek Heilman, is caught screaming at Boston Bender’s Owner, Ms. Samantha Winters, following the Monarchs crushing defeat.

Better Know an Owner

This weeks Better Know an Owner will focus on IHHL Co-Commissioner and San Jose Soviet Bears Owner, Scott Hall. Be sure to come back on Wednesday as Game Misconducts’ very own Bobby BeauFont digs deeper into the inner workings of this IHHL franchise. 

Better Know an Owner: Derek Heilmann

For the next 10 weeks, the IHHL will be taking a closer look at the owners of the IHHL Teams. Our cub reporter, Bobby BeauFont will be sitting down with each team owner to find out more about them as people and their vision for the IHHL. We open the series with an interview with IHHL Commissioner and Milwaukee Monarchs Owner, Derek Heilmann.

GM: Mr. Commissioner, thank you for sitting with us today, on Game Misconducts inaugural, Better Know an Owner.

Derek: Happy to be here.

GM: This is your second season as Commissioner of the IHHL. How do you balance your time between your business, coaching the team, new father, and your duties as commissioner?

Derek: It’s a constant struggle. I’m very blessed to have a family that really understands what it is that I do and that is as passionate about the business and league as I am.

GM: What are your plans for this year? Anything we can let the fans know about?

Derek: This year we are really excited to be announcing that in addition to the Outdoor Classic, the IHHL will be introducing the Third Jersey program as well as the IHHL Stadium Series.

The Third Jersey program is a nod to roots of the IHHL. An opportunity to pay homage to beginnings and re-introduce our fan base to some of the uniqueness of our league.

The Stadium Series is the IHHL’s way to get more teams into outdoor games. We want to have as many teams play outdoors for the fans as possible.

GM: Last year was a rough year for you; both on a personal level as well as professionally. What were some of the hard fought lessons you learned?

Derek: Last year was very trying. The biggest takeaway for me, was, everyday is important and that we can’t take anything for granted.

GM: From last year, how do you answer the questions of cronyism? To be clear, you did bring in two friends as owners who drafted high profile players and then, effectively tanked their respective teams.

Derek: I categorically deny any charges of cronyism. I brought in two owners who I believed would be wonderful additions to our growing league. Clearly I miss-read the intentions of Mr. Moran and due to the ongoing legal issues I can’t comment more on him, however, I believe that Mr. Prudente would have been a great owner had he not had his accident at the beginning of the season. Frankly, I don’t appreciate the constant rumor mongering that comes out of your publication.

GM: Sorry, lets move on shall we? Do you feel that losing your friends like that to impacted your ability to coach the Monarchs during the playoffs last season?

Derek: Dom was a great personal friend of mine and he is deeply missed. One of the changes we are making this year is that all proceeds from the All Star game are going into a fund for Dom’s family. We, all of the league owners and representatives from the players, talked about it and we feel that this the right thing to do.

In retrospect, I probably should have not been coaching the team in the playoffs. There was so much going on, but I did what did. No going back.

GM: Rumors are that Dom never really died. That the entire affair was staged as part of an insurance scam and that purported images of the accident scene are in fact, scenes from National Lampoons Animal House. How do you react to such charges?

Derek: That is incredibly offensive and I will not give you the satisfaction of a response.

GM: So you are not saying that those rumors are false. Very well, moving on. With so much of Knight Industries tied up in league contracts and exclusives, do you feel that the graft and corruption is too much or just right?

Derek: Knight Industries was a partner of the IHHL long before I became Commissioner. All partnerships are vetted and approved by the owners. I have nothing else to say on that matter.


GM: Is it true that David Hasselhoff, while holding the position of team goalie coach, Knight Industries and Monarchs Spokesman, has been engaging in contract talks with the Harpswell Mayors?

Derek: Those rumors were started by the owner of the Mayors and are completely false. I have, however, signed a deal with their former mascot, Toronto mayor Robert Ford. You’ll see him appearing in Knight Brewing ads next month.

GM: Do you feel that the adjustments that you made to this year leagues rules have had a profound impact on your teams performance so far, or are the changes more of a long term strategy to benefit the Monarchs?

Derek: I will not sit here and listen to you disparage both myself and my organization. *removes microphone and leaves*

Week 3: If it bleeds, we can kill it

Week three and the upsets continue in the IHHL. The Boston Benders, a team whose name froze ice last year fell to the nascent Las Vegas Ballers. The Milwaukee Monarchs put a stop to the Harpswell Mayors unbeaten streak, leaving the Washington Winter Warriors as the only unbeaten team in the IHHL. The Denver Demon Donkeys edged out the San Jose Soviet Bears by two and the Cleveland Blackjacks posted their first win of the season in the first sibling rivalry match of the season.

Cleveland Blackjacks vs Seattle Wolves

In the first “Hockey First, Family Second” matchup of the season, the Cleveland Blackjacks hosted the Seattle Wolves this past week. The Blackjacks, winless so far this season were looking to get back in the game; the Wolves were looking to bounce back from last weeks loss to the Monarchs. Despite consistent production from the Wolves top line, the Blackjacks received clutch play from , MacKinon (rw) and Crosby (c) allowing the Blackjacks to pull ahead and steal their first win of the season. Final Score: Blackjacks - 142.3 (1-2-0) to Wolves - 133.10 (1-2-0).

Saskatoon Sasquatches vs Washington Winter Warriors

The Sasquatches, looking for their first win of the season, hosted the dominant Winter Warriors last week. The Warriors, under the steady hand of Owner and Coach, H. Mac Cannon, rolled all four lines throughout the week and received solid contributions across the board. The Sasquatches by contrast only recieved output from their top line and fell due to a porous defensive line. With no contribution coming from secondary lines, the Sasquatches ended up loosing at home and the Warriors secured their three straight win of the season; leaving the Winter Warriors as the only undefeated team in the league. Final Score: Sasquatches - 131.1 (0-3-0) to Warriors - 152.2 (3-0-0).

San Jose Soviet Bears vs Denver Demon Donkeys

Two league stalwarts faced off last week as the Soviet Bears took on the Demon Donkeys. Both teams were looking for redemption, with the Bears dropping a game against conference rival the Monarchs last week and the Donkeys looking to put a mark in the win column. After starting off the week in the hole, the Bears were finally claw their way back into striking distance by Sunday. Unfortunately for the Bears, miscues in goal by Price ended up costing them the win. Final Score: Bears - 146.2 (1-2-0) to Donkeys - 148.95 (1-2-0)

Milwaukee Monarchs vs Harpswell Mayors

The Monarchs, fresh off their first win of the season took on rookie owner powerhouse, the Harpswell Monarchs. The Monarchs have been a dominate force this season, winning their first two games of the season handily. Despite a strong start to the week, the strain of performing at such a high level showed as the Mayors collapsed on Saturday. The Mayors did rally in Sunday’s game against the Monarchs, but in the end it proved to be too little too late. Final Score: Monarchs - 145.75 (2-1-0) to Mayors 115.75 (2-1-0)

Boston Benders vs Las Vegas Balla’s

The Benders, a perennial favorite, had extended their regular season winning streak to 10, in week two and were looking to extend the streak against the Las Vegas Balla’s. The Benders wasted little time exhibiting why they are a top ranked team in the IHHL. By the time Friday rolled around, the Benders were the owner a 15 point lead. Fortunes for the Balla’s changed on Friday though, with the team posting a solid win. This win gave the team the confidence it needed; post game, team owner and coach, Dan Hall, was quoted as syaing, “If it bleeds, we can kill it!”. Final Score: Benders - 183.55 (2-1-0) to Balla’s - 186.7 (2-1-0).

Play of the Week

This week's P of the Week goes to the Las Vegas Balla’s and their come from behind steal of the game against the Boston Benders.

Better Know an Owner

IHHL Fans, starting this Wednesday, we will be launching a new series called Better Know an Owner. In this series, Game Misconduct will be conducting interviews with the owners of the IHHL Teams. The first interview will be with the IHHL’s very owner Commissioner, Derek Heilmann. We promise that this will be an in depth hard hitting interview that you will not want to miss.